*mud and stars...

Have felt kind of shitty all day. Was woken up just before 12 by Sam ringing me to apologize for shouting at me on the phone last night in aggressive/drunken manner, and to ask me if I wanted to meet him after he finished work today. Had a bit of a headache and felt slightly nauseous so couldnt really stomach breakfast, but felt moderately better after I'd had a shower and washed my skanky hair.

Spent all afternoon lying on the sofa reading alternate chapters of 1984 (which I already read ages ago and loved, even though it is pretty grim and depressing), and a Handmaid's Tale, which I'm sure will be very interesting, but I saw the film of it in English the other day and found it TRES HORRIBLE, in particular the bits where she has to have sex with the commander, and the bit with all the hangings, etc. Have already found loads of similarities between the two, so coursework should be EASY PEASY.

Just before I had to go out to meet Sam at four I got really bad period pains, and although I took tablets, they didn't go away and had to walk all the way back to Sam's in TOTAL agony. Lay on Sam's sofa feeling like shit with Freddy (his dog) on my lap, who strangely helped soothe my pain; normally when I have pains I use this thing, it's like this pillow case filled with oats or wheat or something, and you heat it up in the microwave and you put it on your tummy, and it's meant to help soothe the pain a bit. Freddy is warm and fluffy, and curls across my tummy a bit like the oat bag thing. So he helped take some of the pain away. But I still felt quite nauseous. Sam gave me lots of cuddles to cheer me up and eventually the tablets started kicking in a bit.

BUT

The pain is back now :[ Feel really yucky and sicky and my dad is sat eating the Father's day chocolates I gave him earlier, making loads of chompy, slurpy noises, which is really grossing me out. Uggggghhhhhhh. Think I am going to go to bed.

Omg this week has been way too long. Because I've been off school for what seems like such a long time, it's been a bit of a shock to the system going back. I've been going to bed quite early (like 11ish, after Big Brother), but I've woken up every morning this week aching all over with tiredness, sporting v. attractive black bags underneath my sleep-filled eyes. Worked till 10 on Thursday, covering for Alex, and last night I worked in the kitchen at Saïd Business School (I'm on the casual register and they ring me up every so often and ask me to come in, when they need extra help), till 10 also, and came home smelling like a mixture of fish, onion and garlic like I usually do. Lush.

Today, I really felt like I needed to go out and get very very drunk in order to forget about my long long week, so tonight, this is exactly what I did. Wasn't planning on going out at all, because it was Matt's 15th birthday and we ordered in pizza from Dominoes for tea. However, after dinner, family were all watching football, so decided I would go to the pub with Sam, and 3 of his mates, despite having no money, no ID, etc. Was surprisingly easy to get round both of these things; Sam and Shaun bought me drinks all evening.

I had a couple of these shots called 'Aftershock' which tasted a bit like blackcurrant cough sweets which were VERY VERY strong, as well as a couple of smirnoffs, vodka and cokes, and cider. Was a good evening, usually I don't really like being the only girl in a group, but it was alright, and to be honest I behaved quite laddishly with my drinking and my topics of conversation anyway, so we were alright.

It was Elvis Presley karaoke night at the White Horse and all the bar staff were dressed as Elvis with black wigs, collars up, and sunglasses which were apparently v. hard to see out of according to the smallest bar tender (who is really cute and friendly and always talks to us when we go there.) We sat outside in the garden because it was quite a summery evening, which was a good choice because we witnessed a REAL fight! It was so exciting. There was this group of girls from Liverpool, and they were all dressed in really formal dresses, and appeared to be really really drunk. They all seemed to be having a massive argument with each other (although the only bit of the argument I picked up was 'YOU'RE A FUCKING BITCH', which seemed to be said an awful lot of times. Suddenly one girl grabbed this other girl by the hair and started swinging her round, and then this girl punched her in the face! The Elvis's all came out to see what was going on, and tried to break up the fight (they were all attacking each other by this point), but the drunk girls didn't seem to notice. The smallest Elvis turned round and shrugged at us and laughed. Eventually the Elvis's managed to move them along by backing them out of the garden and then shutting the gate behind them, leaving them to fight in the car park. Was like something out of a comedy sketch I swear.

Left the pub at about 10 to 12, and almost missed the last bus home, but Sam gave me a piggy back and ran with me on his back all the way to the bus stop just in time for the 5 to 12. Was fairly giddy and drunk, and had some kind of argument with Sam on the phone on the way home because he took ages to ring me back because he was getting a cheeseburger from the kebab van, making me think that he'd been run over or something - (we always argue about ridiculous things when we're drunk), but have sobered up a fair bit now - at least enough to type and make sense - and don't appear to have lost any of my possessions which is a v. good sign, and hopefully won't have too bad a hangover tomorrow morning. x