Today was the most gorgeous day ever - supposedly the hottest day of the year so far? Finished school at one and met BF. He squeezed me to death and told me he was very sorry about yesterday. Then we went into Oxford to get my shoes. Was planning on spending fuck loads, and VERY NEARLY did in Karen Millen, but at the last minute decided this would be a bit of a waste as I would have no money for the next few weeks, and could get shoes just as nice (if I'm honest) for £20 in New Look. So that is exactly what I did.

We had lunch in ChristChurch Meadow. Got baguettes and apple juice from a shop in the covered market, and strawberries from the fresh fruit stall and went and sat in the sunshine. Was lovely :] Would have been romantic if the park hadn't been full of smackheads and pissed uni students! Still, at least we had ready-made entertainment.

Tried on my ball dress when I got home to check if it still fits me, and was VERY annoyed to find that the zip no longer zips itself up to the very top. And it's a SIZE 10, FFS! I know I've eaten a lot of shit recently, and not really counted my calories but come on - I was expecting it to hang a little looser on me, seeing as I'm doing mostly eights these days! AM NOT IMPRESSED. At least I've got my shawl to cover up the zip that won't do up at the back. Am paranoid that I am going to look a bit like a lollipop, with skinny legs supporting a massive BLOBBY body! Mum says I look nice, but mum's are MEANT to say that.

Think I may have to do some sort of 48-hour-detox-fluid-loss-diet-thingy if I want to slim into this dress and NOT look like a deluded girl SQUEEZING herself into something which CLEARLY doesn't fit her. :[

But on the Bright Side (one has to look for a bright side when one is GETTING FAT): ANNIE HAS A DEBIT CARD!!!! This is good news for me, but bad news for my driving lesson fund. Just know I am going to spend spend spend, especially in Paris, as I can USE THE CARD ABROAD!!!! WEEEEEEEE, feel like I have been released from shopaholic prison (the past few weeks I have resisted SO many things as have been scrupulously saving - yes I regard this to be PRISION-LIKE), and am all set to go ABSOLUTELY CRAZY in a few weeks time, when the money from all my overtime comes in! Who knows, maybe I will even TREAT MYSELF to Karen Millen shoes?! or possibly LIPO SUCTION!!!!

xx

Wellll Sunday was a strange day.

Spent most of it being Little Miss Helpful, making sure Dad and Brother had breakfast and lunch (as men, they seem incapable of identifying their own needs and surviving without a woman in the house) whilst Mum was visiting Grandad.

Also popped down to 'nameless local supermarket' to buy a cake for D's birthday, and a cake for Grandad. I'm going to write messages on both of them in writing icing. Felt so super-selfless and wonderful after all this, even contemplated making BF's BFFL some flat-warming muffins (he got his brand spanking new council flat last week - only has to pay £5 a week, lucky biatch!), but decided this might be going a little too OTT/too Brie Van Der Camp a la Desperate Housewives.

Grandad's okay, but he severed an artery in his head yesterday when he fell down the stairs. He's all stitched up now, and conscious, if a little very confused.

Had a 'Work Do' in the evening, we all went bowling and got very pissed and manager AH got tomato pips in her hair, even though she didn't eat any tomato, and I spilled ketchup down my white top and had to wear my jacket for the rest of the evening. SURPRISINGLY, my team did not win, but we had a bloody good laugh all the same.

Was also me and BF's 6 Month Anniversaire. He was quite sweet and lovely, kept coming up behind me and putting his arms round me with his hands on my tummy and kissing the back of my neck.

Was off school today, as had a lot of work to do. With everything that's happened, I haven't had time to catch up on my HUMONGOUS back-log of school work, so decided to take the day off to do some of that, considering I just had research lessons this morning, which are incredibly pointless and are just spent on Facebook anyway. Felt ok when I first woke up, despite the copious amounts of vodka consumed last night, but in the middle of the day began to feel quite sick and dizzy. Think I might be fighting off some sort of bug, because my mum said she's felt like that all day too.

Made it into work, but got very pissed off with BF because he was in one of his moods where he won't speak to anyone. He was in this filthy mood simply because he was AN HOUR late for work AGAIN, and therefore our manager told him he'd have to stay an extra hour onto the end of his normal shift to make it up. Soooo he spent the whole day basically sulking like a fucking CHILD, and barely spoke to me.

So I decided to ignore him, and went off and bitched about MEN(!) with L. Was quite satisfying. Had a massive fucking argument with BF before I left though, and I cried A LOT on the way home, and ate WAY TOO MUCH chocolate to make myself feel better when I GOT home.

Have made it up with BF now though. He admits he was being a prick, and I agreed :] He's meeting me from school tomorrow and we're going into Oxford, and I'm buying (EXPENSIVE) shoes for the ball, and he's getting trousers to go with his suit. Should be lush. I told him that to make up for not speaking to me at work when I needed him (I was stressed out with everything and just wanted a hug to be honest, but seeing as he wasn't SPEAKING to anyone, that wasn't really possible...), he has to give me a MASSIVE hug when he sees me tomorrow.

He said, ok, I'll squeeze you to death.

So, I have that to look forward to :] I have had a pretty shit evening; missed Eastenders AND One Tree Hill because I had to evaluate the effects of climate change on the planet in 1000 words (though I've only written 955 and they're all shit), and couldn't work out how to set anything up to record on our new box. I just hope tomorrow will be much more lovely and much more better than this shitty excuse for a Monday. x

Cannot think of a better title.

Today has been a really long day; was going to write all about BBQ shenanigans at SBS (complete with sunburn, potato salad, chopping up own hands with kitchen knife, and me and KR riding on the bucking sheep in our chef whites - was spectacularly useless at this!), and the fact that I am at home on a Saturday night for the first time this year, stone cold sober and enjoying it.

But I feel that that would be really weird and wrong considering I've just found out that my Grandad has just gone into hospital :'[ Apparently he fell down the stairs and has cut his head open and there was lots of blood everywhere and the ambulance have taken him to the John Radcliffe. My uncle, has gone to the hospital and mum's looking after my Gran and my cousins. I'm so worried and scared. My Grandad is so old and so ill with Alzheimer's. I just feel so sad for him because he will be so scared; he won't know where he is, or why he's in pain, or who anybody around him is. I've been crying for ages, and I rang BF up and cried at him for quite a long time and spent a lot of my credit, but never mind.

He's got to be kept in hospital over night at least, and I don't know whether he's going to be ok. I'm guessing we won't be having our 87th birthday meal for him tomorrow though. :'[ Please be ok Grandad, I love you xxxxx

I HAVE JUST WRITTEN THE CRAPPEST PSYCHOLOGY INTRODUCTION EVERRRR.
Gotta go to school now and hand it in! :[
Wish I could curl up in a ball and sleep for a million years instead.
And I have to go straight to work from school.
And then straight to the kitchen from work, to do more work.
And I won't be able to see BF until Sunday.
And I won't see any of my friends until Monday.
Grrrr life is positively shit.
xxxx

This week has been non-stop so far.

I am so stressed out because I have so much work to do, and I haven't been able to do any of it so far.

On Tuesday night, one of my best mates D was chucked out by her dad, who told her he doesn't like having her around, and that he wants his wife's son to move in instead and take her room. Her mum has been away, so she's had to stay with me for the last couple of nights, and she's staying with another friend tonight.

I feel so sorry for her, and I've done as much as I can, but I know it's not enough. Have given her lots of hugs and hot chocolate and hardcore Pendulum Itunes raves in my front room in some effort to cheer her up.

Have to say, it's sort of worked. Am amazed at how strong that girl is. She puts on such a brave face.

It's her birthday on Sunday, and neither of her parents seem too bothered. I can't see her because I will be at my Grandad's birthday meal, but I am going to bake her a cake and give it to her on Monday and we will blatantly rave up her 17th in the common room, Monday breaktime (to Pendulum, obviously... nobody in the whole sixth form seems to listen to anything else recently!) xx

Haven't written on here in about a million years because my internet has been broken :[ Our phone is also broken, as are the flushes on both of our toilets. Our house is basically falling to bits!

Went camping on Saturday night at Dry Sanford with lots and lots of people from school and got completely annihilated by drinking a lot of punch, which was completely lethal as it was lots and lots of different alcoholic beverages mixed together, in a bin, rather than a bowl. If I don't catch AIDS, I will be surprised. Anyway, I spent a lot of the night crying in my tent because I thought I was lying in the entrance to the tent rather than the ACTUAL tent, and because I had wet jeans, and because my phone got so waterlogged when I was out dancing in the rain that it wouldn't turn on for ages until it had had time to dry out. Hardcore. At least I wasn't off slagging it up with half of year 13 like some of my friends...

Friends, who, might I add, collapsed a tent on me while I was asleep at 7 in the morning, for no apparent reason.

Was NOT impressed as was still drunk, and very hungover at the same time. I went home and threw up loads then slept for most of the day.

Have felt kind of shitty all day. Was woken up just before 12 by BF ringing me to apologise for shouting at me on the phone last night in aggressive/drunken manner, and to ask me if I wanted to meet him after he finished work today. Had a bit of a headache and felt slightly nauseous so couldnt really stomach breakfast, but felt moderately better after I'd had a shower and washed my skanky hair.

Spent all afternoon lying on the sofa reading alternate chapters of 1984 (which I already read ages ago and loved, even though it is pretty grim and depressing), and a Handmaid's Tale, which I'm sure will be very interesting, but I saw the film of it in English the other day and found it TRES HORRIBLE, in particular the bits where she has to have sex with the commander, and the bit with all the hangings, etc. Have already found loads of similarities between the two, so coursework should be EASY PEASY.

Just before I had to go out to meet BF at four I got really bad period pains, and although I took tablets, they didn't go away and had to walk all the way back to BF's in TOTAL agony. Lay on BF's sofa feeling like shit with Freddy (his dog) on my lap, who strangely helped soothe my pain; normally when I have pains I use this thing, it's like this pillow case filled with oats or wheat or something, and you heat it up in the microwave and you put it on your tummy, and it's meant to help soothe the pain a bit. Freddy is warm and fluffy, and curls across my tummy a bit like the oat bag thing. So he helped take some of the pain away. But I still felt quite nauseous. BF gave me lots of cuddles to cheer me up and eventually the tablets started kicking in a bit.

BUT

The pain is back now :[ Feel really yucky and sicky and my dad is sat eating the Father's day chocolates I gave him earlier, making loads of chompy, slurpy noises, which is really grossing me out. Uggggghhhhhhh. Think I am going to go to bed.

Omg this week has been way too long. Because I've been off school for what seems like such a long time, it's been a bit of a shock to the system going back. I've been going to bed quite early (like 11ish, after Big Brother), but I've woken up every morning this week aching all over with tiredness, sporting v. attractive black bags underneath my sleep-filled eyes. Worked till 10 on thursday, covering for A, and last night I worked in the kitchen at Saïd Business School (I'm on the casual register and they ring me up every so often and ask me to come in, when they need extra help), till 10 also, and came home smelling like a mixture of fish, onion and garlic like I usually do. Lush.

Today, I really felt like I needed to go out and get very very drunk in order to forget about my long long week, so tonight, this is exactly what I did. Wasn't planning on going out at all, because it was (my brother) Matt's 15th birthday and we ordered in pizza from Dominoes for tea. However, after dinner, family were all watching football, so decided I would go to the pub with BF, and 3 of 'the lads', despite having no money, no ID, etc. Was surprisingly easy to get round both of these things; BF and his BFFL bought me drinks all evening.

I had a couple of these shots called 'Aftershock' which tasted a bit like blackcurrant cough sweets which were VERY VERY strong, as well as a couple of smirnoffs, vodka and cokes, and cider. Was a good evening, usually I don't really like being the only girl in a group, but it was alright, and to be honest I behaved quite laddishly with my drinking and my topics of conversation anyway, so we were alright.

It was Elvis Presley kareoke night at the White Horse and all the bar staff were dressed as Elvis with black wigs, collars up, and sunglasses which were apparently v. hard to see out of according to the smallest bar tender (who always talks to us when we go there.) We sat outside in the garden because it was quite a summery evening, which was a good choice because we witnessed a REAL fight! It was so exciting. There was this group of girls from Liverpool, and they were all dressed in really formal dresses, and appeared to be really really drunk. They all seemed to be having a massive argument with each other (although the only bit of the argument I picked up was 'YOU'RE A FUCKING BITCH', which seemed to be said an awful lot of times. Suddenly one girl grabbed this other girl by the hair and started swinging her round, and then this girl punched her in the face! The Elvis's all came out to see what was going on, and tried to break up the fight (they were all attacking each other by this point), but the drunk girls didn't seem to notice. The smallest Elvis turned round and shrugged at us and laughed. Eventually the Elvis's managed to move them along by backing them out of the garden and then shutting the gate behind them, leaving them to fight in the car park. Was like something out of a comedy sketch I swear.

Left the pub at about 10 to 12, and almost missed the last bus home, but BF gave me a piggy back and ran with me on his back all the way to the bus stop just in time for the 5 to 12. Was fairly giddy and drunk, and had some kind of argument with BF on the phone on the way home because he took ages to ring me back because he was getting a cheeseburger from the kebab van, making me think that he'd been run over or something - (we always argue about ridiculous things when we're drunk), but have sobered up a fair bit now - at least enough to type and make sense - and don't appear to have lost any of my possessions which is a v. good sign, and hopefully won't have too bad a hangover tomorrow morning. x

Me, K and R went to see Simon Amstell (my favourite 'skinny homosexual jew' - his words - EVER) do stand up in Oxford this evening. He was amazing, and I don't think I've ever laughed so hard at a comedian. He's a much better stand up than a TV presenter, even though I do LOVE Never Mind the Buzzcocks. I actually cried with laughter and in several places snorted because I got so carried away with all the laughing. After the show, we hung around the stage door for ages (comedy whoressss) till he came out and I couldn't find my ticket for him to sign so I gave him the labelled envelope my mum had given me to keep my ticket in (so cool), and he seemed to find this quite amusing soooo that made me happy :] He is like the fluffiest loveliest person ever. I wish I could adopt him or cuddle him or something. We had a picture taken with him on K's phone, but it was really dark and it didn't come out v. well, so that was quite pants really.

We have decided that when we see the Mighty Boosh in November, we're going to wait outside the stage door in a similar comedy whore fashion, in the hope that Noel Fielding will come out and give out free cuddles or possibly sex. Although we may be joined by hordes of squealing 12-year-old fangirls, I think it will be entirely worth the wait.

Have had a pretty good weekend. Went to Eamayl on Friday with all the girlies to celebrate the end of exams, and as well as eating way way way too much, I burned off many calories through hysterical laughter.

On Saturday went to Pizza Express with BF and drank far too much Pinot Grigio which is BLOODY expensive in restaraunts (for some reason I never realised this, luckily BF was paying). Then we went for a walk and ended up sitting on a wall by this car park, but then we decided to leave because we saw some people having sex in a car and we felt (though curiously fascinated) a bit weird being there after that. We walked by the river but kept stopping because we got distracted by each other. We had many many 'lols', and many many tears of laughter were shed at the most ridiculous things.

This afternoon I went to see the Sex and the City movie which was FABULOUS; don't know why but SJP looks glamorous in everything, even ridiculous wedding dresses, with dead birds attached to the side of her head! Ate a lot of popcorn (which RM kept shoving in my face, tempting me to BREAK MY DIET.) BAD ANNIE!

Soooo all in all has been a lovely, happy weekend full of laughter and silliness, which is what I needed. To put a downer on things, I have to go back to school tomorrow and have a double geography lesson first thing. Ewwww. xx

Brick Lane = Bloody amazing film, but the book was better and more colourful. Rented it from the Library today (just signed up to get a library card - Sam says I am a geek but I don't care!) Chanu was hilarious; v. irritating and quite grotesque, but sweet at the same time. Karim was v. yummy! The whole thing was beautiful and made me cry in several places.

Don't have to go to school tomorrow as I have transferred onto a different English Literature course, and there is no lesson tomorrow. All my other subjects have frees, so I will be able to sit at home all day and do absolutely shit all. Maybe I will read all day. Or perhaps I will go into town and spend a lot of money in New Look. Or maybe I'll just stay in bed. It doesn't matter, I have no educational obligations. I am free for another day.

I've had a really great week so far, I've had a lot of time to myself but it's been really nice. I've just finished reading Chocolat by Joanne Harris and I have to say that as well as being a nice antidote to my weather-related melancholy, it's the most charming book I've ever read, and it's kind of crappified every other book I've tried to begin reading since. I don't think any other authors write with such luxurious words. I want to eat them all up! I like the fact that the whole thing celebrates self-indulgence and earthly pleasures; I refuse to believe that doing things that make you feel good is a sin. This book is so right. God made chocolate, ffs. I don't think he minds if you stuff your face with it. That's kind of the whole point.

In other news, me and BF invented spaghetti hoop bagueuttes the other day, which I highly recommend. We were stuck inside on the rainiest Tuesday I have ever known, and had a bit of CARB FEST to cheer ourselves up. V. bad for diet, but do I care?

NO

x